September 20, 2013

I am 20 years youuung! :D

Again: this is my biological birthday. And I have decided that from now on I will be celebrating this and not the most popular one (oct. 20, based on papers).

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20 years. There are a lot of things and people to be thankful for.

To mention a few:

》HS friends - the people who always are very welcoming; who would make you feel that, even if individually we have changed, the things that we had then are still the ones that we could hold on to; who would always give a feel that high school was just yesterday (but hey, it's been 4 years); who would bring back happy memories and laugh at our immaturity then; who would make you feel that nothing has changed, we still got each other.

》CGC Family/PCSKV/GKDZ - for teaching me a LOT of things. All these I am applying and will be. You have contributed greatly on who and what I am now. Yes, all the trainings, seminars and etc are helping (greatly) in my todays endeavours, but over and beyond that are the life lessons which I will be bringing wherever I go. Dabest talaga pag laking guidance. B-)

》SSG Family - CONCEITED B*TCHES. HAHAHA. Standing on my own feet. This has been the greatest by far. Being part of this family has pushed me to perform more than I could possibly imagine. It puts so much pressure and stress and HAPPINESS. Having worked with people who kick their asses off to serve the student body, to give the best SSG administration one could have, despite all forms of discouragement. The determination to give and perform more than what is expected. This group is something I am very proud and thankful of. Thank you for sharing yourselves to the group and to the whole student body.

》Ida and Joy Li - elementary best friends. Childhood bestfriends. Whatever. Haha. These two have never left. Despite going to different high schools and being in different cliques in college, they never have made me feel different. Like I could still run to them. They will always be there with open arms. :-)

》Renzo, Tin, Nikki, Charles, Eloy, Kuya Darren, Ate Gladys, Jovan, Roe, Jalie, Gabz, Kayne, Eka, Chubs, Kuya Russel, Cathy, Ashley - These people do not know everything about me but loves me still (or assuming lang ako). These are the people whom I know are willing to be there when I need someone. These are the people who are always willing to listen. These are the people whom I could share just bits and pieces of me and still do not judge me. These are the people I trust. And these are the people I treasure so much.

》Ate Renee and Ate Jaycee- they are the older sisters god forgot to give. More than the chitchats and crazy things that we do, I am most thankful for having you two as my elder sisters. I mean, you really seem like one. You get angry and disappointed but just like real sibblings, you would understand and later on help. Waaaa. I just love you so much. Thank you, Ates! I don't how to put everything into words. Basta, you know what I mean. :-*

》Paul Paglinawan - my boyfriend. HAHAHA. He's the boy bestfriend I have in college. We are super close, people mistake us for being a couple. Lol. He has always been there for me. Ever since we became friends, we have shared a different bond. The one that's not gonna break. And although it has not been very long since we knew each other, he has let me in to his life. Thank you for everything, Paul. You know how much I love you. :-)



》Ces, Hazel, Phoebe, Lester - best buds. Yes, it is already very seldom that we go out, talk, and do all sort of things that we want (from nasty to dramatic ones). These are the people who, even without talking, know if something's wrong and still respect your silence and wait for you to open up. As Lester would say, "aram ko na magdaralagan ang utak nindo." These are the people who would not judge you come whatever. These are the people who were with me through my ups and downs. These are the people who would always tell you that you can and that you should and even if they are not there physically for you, you know that they are more than happy for all your achievements, big or small. These are the people whom I would text, "uy, gusto ko yaon kamo sa <insert whatever event/activiy here>. Kaipuhan ko kamo duman." These are the people who, even if you have a little time for them, would always understand and instead of complain about it, savor every second that you are with them because it is the only time you have. The list goes on. But most importnatly, these are the people I imagine myself sitting in the porch with. Thank you sooooo much. I love you, big time. :*

》Francis - Thank you for always being there; for adjusting to my time sched because I am so busy; for patiently sitting in to my meetings just so we could have time together; for taking care of me when I'm sick; for visiting me at home when I am not allowed to go out; for pushing our cart; for lifting our groceries; for hearing my dramas; for always making me feel special; for washing the dishes when I am too lazy to do so (HAHAHA); for accepting that it's your responsibility to text first in the morning(HAHA); for the intellectual discussions; for putting off with my PMSs; for understanding what it really is that I ask of you. I love you, you know that. ♡

》Pa, Kuya - thank you for showing me what a man should be. And bro, thank you for being a best bud. I miss you both so bad.

》Mama - i know you will never be able to read this. But, I would like to give MY GREATEST GRATITUDE TO YOU for allowing me to be able to meet these people. For allowing me to make decisions of my own; for the trust and understanding. Thank you for everything, Ma. :) I love you.





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I'm still young. I still have a lot to learn. Still have a lot to meet. But this, for now, I should be very thankful.

posted from Bloggeroid

Rationality Amidst Emotion

Q: When do you say you are in love?

You feel butterflies in your stomach. Your knees weaken at his sight. You keep on looking around when you over hear his name. You smile like a crazy dog when he sees you too. You can't look at him when he's looking at you. You melt when he says, "Hi, <insert your name here>!" You died when he asked for your number. Your heart takes a leap when your phone beeps and his name appears. Your heart throbs fast while sending your reply. You can't help but check your phone every thirty seconds. You triple check your reply before sending, imagining every possible reaction if you are the one who gets the message.

You enjoy your text conversations. You don't delete the thread on your phone. You ask when you can hang out for the very first time. You feel awkward. You start talking. You had fun and decided that you do it again. And you did and did and did.

You always want to see him. You always want to talk to him. You always want to be together.

You started trusting him. You tell him those that make you cry. You tell him what makes you happy. You always remeber his name first when you are about to break down. You informed him first about the application that you aced. You always counted on him.

You get confused about what you really feel.

Yes, these are symptoms that there is something, that you are not simply friends, that you could and might be something more. But no, I'm sorry, this is not love -- not yet. It will only become love when you say so, when you choose to.

Love is better a decision than a feeling. When you make a decision, you do actions for that decision. You make efforts to make that decision right. You do not care if you are not happy anymore. Because you value the person more than what you feel. For who knows what would happen if the feeling is gone?

A: You choose to whom and when to fall in love.

Malady of Today's Generation

Serious is scary.

Yes, that's true. We are in the times where people settle for what is at hand and not clarify such so long as you feel happy. I am talking about relationships--without label.

You go out on dates. You constantly see each other. You send mushy text messages. You call each other at night. You call him Baby. You say I love you. BUT you are not a couple. When people ask you, "Is he your boyfriend?" You find it very difficult to answer. You do not know what he is to you and what you are to him.

You do not talk about the future. You do not ask about his plans. You do not tell him your plans. You only care about the now, where you will hang out later, when you will see each other again, but never your long-term goals.

Then you wake up one day confused. He has no sweet morning message, no phone calls. You feel tired. You are not happy anymore. Then you ask yourself, "What happened?" You realize that you do not have the right to demand as you do not know what really is it that you can demand. It came to you that you did not know what to expect and that you do not even have the right to expect--because you are not his girl friend. It was never clear to both of you how you should act, what you should be.

You find it hard to talk about what is really the thing that you have. You are too scared to ask about your thing. You are afraid to know that that in a relationship thing is something you are not ready for. You are scared of commitment. But you are more afraid that if you clarify the thing that you have, you might just lose it and you do not want that.

And when it is gone, you try to move on from something that was not even there in the very first place.

In a Relationship...Not

Last night, I told a friend, "I love myself so much that I can't handle a relationship yet."

I'm not ready. I can't give up the things that make me happy. I can't give up my organizations, my friends, my family, myself. Well, being in an intimate relationship requires so much time. Cliche, but yes, love is still best spelled with T-I-M-E. With all the commitments and responsibilities that I have, I don't think I have enough.

At this point in my life, I am still filling my tank. There are so many things that I want to do and that does not include being in a relationship just yet. I am scared. I know that if I enter into one, I should give up some of the things I love doing, or else I'll lose the one who loves me. I'm not yet ready to be someone for another.

I guess I am being selfish, but I am being true. When I fall in love again, I want to be able to give myself wholly. I want to be overflowing with love that I could not resist sharing it with somebody else. I want to be in a relationship because I want to give not because I feel the need.

I know someday I will love again, without regrets, without hesitations. I will give my all, get hurt, but still love.

Someday, I will say, "I love you" genuinely.

Like A Bird

Camera: EOS 600D||Tv: 1/400||Av: 7.1||Lens: 70-300mm||AF: Manual

Even birds rest when they get tired of flying. :)