In a Relationship...Not

Last night, I told a friend, "I love myself so much that I can't handle a relationship yet."

I'm not ready. I can't give up the things that make me happy. I can't give up my organizations, my friends, my family, myself. Well, being in an intimate relationship requires so much time. Cliche, but yes, love is still best spelled with T-I-M-E. With all the commitments and responsibilities that I have, I don't think I have enough.

At this point in my life, I am still filling my tank. There are so many things that I want to do and that does not include being in a relationship just yet. I am scared. I know that if I enter into one, I should give up some of the things I love doing, or else I'll lose the one who loves me. I'm not yet ready to be someone for another.

I guess I am being selfish, but I am being true. When I fall in love again, I want to be able to give myself wholly. I want to be overflowing with love that I could not resist sharing it with somebody else. I want to be in a relationship because I want to give not because I feel the need.

I know someday I will love again, without regrets, without hesitations. I will give my all, get hurt, but still love.

Someday, I will say, "I love you" genuinely.